We’ve all been there, right? You pick up your kids after a long day at work, ask “How was school today?” and get hit with the classic one-word response: “Fine.” Or worse—complete silence while they’re already lost in their tablet or staring out the window.

As working moms, we’re juggling a million things, and those precious moments in the car or around the dinner table feel like our only chance to really connect with our kids about their day. But here’s the good news: it’s not that your kids don’t want to talk to you. You might just be asking the wrong questions.

Why “How Was School?” Doesn’t Work

Think about it—when someone asks you “How was work?” what do you usually say? Probably something like “It was okay” or “Busy.” That question is so broad and open-ended that our brains just default to the easiest, shortest answer possible. The same thing happens with our kids.

According to child development experts, the key is asking questions that give kids a specific framework to organize their thoughts and memories from the day.

7 Questions That’ll Transform After-School Conversations

A therapist recently shared some brilliant alternatives that actually get kids talking—and they’re game-changers for busy families like ours. Here’s what to try:

1. “What was the best part of your day?”

This question automatically makes kids search their memory for something positive. Fair warning: don’t be shocked if the answer is “lunch” or “recess”—but hey, at least they’re talking! Sometimes this opens the door to bigger conversations about friends, activities, or something funny that happened.

2. “What’s a mistake you learned from today?”

Or you could phrase it as: “Did anything happen today that you’d do differently next time?” This one is powerful because it normalizes mistakes and reduces shame. It teaches kids that messing up is part of learning—and that’s a life skill we all need.

3. “Who were you proud of today?”

Here’s where it gets interesting. This question shifts their attention away from themselves and toward others. The answers will tell you SO much about what types of behavior your kids value and who they look up to. Plus, it encourages empathy.

4. “What’s one thing that would have made today better?”

This helps kids identify frustrating moments without getting stuck dwelling on the negative. It also teaches problem-solving skills. Maybe they wish they’d had more time at recess, or wish they’d remembered their library book—it opens up real conversations about their experiences.

5. “Who did you help today?”

And if the answer is “no one”? That’s okay! It might inspire them to look for opportunities to be helpful or spread kindness tomorrow. This question reinforces that helping others is something we value in our family.

6. “What was the most interesting thing you learned today?”

This one emphasizes curiosity over grades and performance. It shows kids that learning isn’t just about getting the right answer—it’s about discovering new things. This can help build a lifelong love of learning (and might teach you something new, too!).

7. “What’s something new you’d like to try?”

Whether it’s a new activity, a different lunch option, or sitting with someone new, this question encourages kids to think beyond their comfort zone and get excited about new possibilities.

Making It Work for Your Family

You don’t have to ask all seven questions every day—that would feel like an interrogation! Pick one or two that feel natural, and rotate them throughout the week. Some days you might only have time for one question during the drive home, and that’s perfectly fine.

The goal isn’t to get a complete download of every moment of their day. It’s to create a pattern of meaningful connection, where your kids know you’re genuinely interested in their experiences—not just checking a box.

The Bottom Line

Those after-school moments are precious, especially when you’re balancing work, activities, dinner prep, and everything else on your plate. These seven questions can help you make the most of that time and build stronger connections with your kids—one conversation at a time.

So next time you’re in carpool line or gathered around the dinner table, skip the “How was school?” and try one of these instead. You might be surprised by what you learn!

---

Source: CNBC

---

What questions work best with your kids? Share your favorites with us on Froggy 102.7’s Facebook page—we’d love to hear from you!

Listen to The Zach Attack weekday afternoons from 2-7pm on Froggy 102.7, Michiana’s Hot AC, where we’re all about making your drive home a little brighter!